Try holding hands during fights and asking others open-ended questions every day.
And if you don’t have someone to hold hands with yet, the dating christian app will help you in your search for a serious relationship.
Most of us intuitively know that good relationships with others are incredibly important to our happiness and well-being.
And even small changes for the better in our relationships with others lead to great results. You can start with these six practices.
- Change your thoughts
Words matter. And not just the ones we say out loud, but the ones that remain in our thoughts.
The way we evaluate others, their decisions, behaviors, character traits, and even annoying habits all affect communication. When during a conversation with a loved one, colleague, or family member we say to ourselves, “He likes to control everything so much,” “He never listens to me,” or “He’s so selfish,” we subconsciously begin to look for confirmation of that opinion.
To make a difference, there are three things you need to do. First, notice when such negative thoughts appear in your head. Second, stop yourself in time. Third, replace them with positive words or phrases.
No, I’m not urging you to change thoughts into false statements, like saying “He never listens to me” into “He always listens to me. It’s about showing understanding – “He’s doing the best he can” or noting that the person is moving in the right direction – “He’s just getting started.”
You’d be surprised how quickly the quality of the relationship changes. One of my favorite phrases that I will often repeat to myself is, “They may be right.” This simple thought discourages me from winning arguments or getting into them at all. Take it or choose your “motto” and then use it as a screensaver, set it as a reminder on your smartphone, or write it down on a sticker and stick it in a prominent place.
- Create Positive Moments
Many people would like to learn how to “seize the moment” and be more engaged in the here and now. Turns out you can do this anytime, anywhere. You must get the name and thank the consultant who helped you choose your living room wallpaper. Or ask how a colleague is doing.
When you share small positive moments with others, whether it’s a warm smile or a fleeting glance, you are letting pleasant emotions into your life. It’s going to sound loud, but it’s moments like this that make you feel love.
Of course, it’s not the kind of love that brought Romeo and Juliet together. But that feeling will help you live a long, happy, and healthy life. You will start a chain reaction – the common micro-moments of positivity with strangers, colleagues, and loved ones will turn into a wave of pleasant emotions. And it will have a beneficial effect not only on your life but also on the lives of those around you.
- Holding Hands
When you fight with your partner, it’s important to remember that even though you disagree, you’re still a team. A good way to remember this is to hold hands directly during an argument. Experiments have shown that such a gesture helps to feel an inner connection and smoothes out the destructiveness of conflict.
If this method in your case does not work, try to come up with your ritual. For example, break up an argument with a 10-second kiss. Or clench your fist, and then jerk away three fingers: your thumb, index finger, and pinky. This nonverbal symbol means “I love you,” and it can be displayed right during a conflict.
I once interviewed a couple with a very unusual rule-they fought exclusively naked. Of course, their disagreement rarely lasted long.
- Ask open-ended questions
As a social scientist, I have a phrase that particularly irks me: “Communication is the secret to a successful relationship.”
I can’t say that’s not true at all. But communication is a complicated thing. Not all types of communication have the same value, for example, shouting and lying are also communication.
But active listening is among the most underrated techniques that help build relationships. All you need to do is listen to the person and try to understand them, give them space to tell their story, and share their fears, hopes and impressions.
One of the most effective practices you can use to strengthen a relationship is to listen more, talk less, and ask open-ended questions. Try to do this at least once a day. Ask a colleague who is sitting next to you what was the highlight of the week for him or her. Ask the neighbor who’s walking his dog what has lifted his spirits. Or ask your child what he or she wants to get done this year.
Then just listen carefully to the answers without interrupting or trying to answer for the other person. This will show those around you that you care about them.
- Schedule time to meet with friends
A serious relationship requires constant “investment. Friendship is one of the main components of a happy and long life. You can look here to find a good friend or life partner. Unfortunately, over time, even the strongest relationship can come to naught. Especially if it is not maintained in any way.
Try to make time every week or month to see your friends. If you can not see each other in person, talk on Zoom or call. When you are invited somewhere by someone who is not in your inner circle, ask yourself: “Will this meeting be good for me and the relationship I consider valuable?”
Such small but regular “investments” of attention are extremely important in developing and maintaining close relationships.
- Apologies for the time
Many of us have ended a relationship awkwardly and thoughtlessly at least once in our lives simply because we are human and therefore imperfect. Or we’ve found ourselves on the opposite side that’s not the best way to end a relationship with us. Whichever side we find ourselves on, there is still an unpleasant residue associated with a former boss, roommate, ex-partner, or someone else.
It’s time to finally set the record straight and write a message to the person with whom we have unkindly cut off communication. It’s better if the apology is short and straightforward, and it doesn’t hurt that we take responsibility for our mistakes. After all, when we accept our imperfections, we are happier.
If you decide to send a message like this, don’t wait for a response. Did the person you’re talking to read and respond? That’s fine! But don’t forget that forgiveness is a complicated internal process. All you can do on your part is let go of the unnecessary emotions that are dragging you down, and move on.
